Late “Day of Birth” Gift

So I was supposed to do this story around my birthday… There was even an elaborate plot and story I had for this occasion; but someone insisted on taking her time entering the world… kids.

Well, a really good friend and avid reader of this blog gave birth to a beautiful baby girl  @ 7:50 pm. I must say that we three kings 4 kings and queens had amazing timing. As we arrived at 7:53pm we hear the baby crying for the first time: Talk about great timing !

This baby, this baby right here? this baby has a great set of lungs!

Really good lungs…

As we sit in the family waiting room, I’m hearing from one of the family members that the doctor walked in AFTER the baby was born… I wonder if the doctor still gets paid… probably.

I must say it was a little awkward sitting  in the waiting room with her family; I mean I can’t really describe myself as her blogmaster friend who came to do a play-by-play story of her birth…

Swine flu story of the day: a customer gets a refund at Publix because the cashier coughed on her merchandise…

As we continue to hang out in the waiting room, the family starts telling random stories to pass the time; apparently, the new mom was bald until she was 2…  I didn’t want to put this in new mom, but the public has a right to know…

I wonder how people will be in the waiting room when Mrs. Blogmaster and I are ready to introduce our first mini-blogger to the world. I’ve decided I’m going to need a blogger or two on location for us. I’m still trying to figure out how I’ll be able to blog and be supportive husband/coach in the delivery room…

It’s 806 and we’re waiting on an official word from the medical team.

It’s 823, the parents are good, mom is tired and needs real food… Jello, broth and juice? Seriously???

We are still waiting on medical staff for an official weigh in. Mom gets her food minutes later everything she requested… Cheese burger and all. The baby is already giving mom the side-eye for her cheese burger… Kids.

Mother and Child together for their first meal.

Mother and Child together for their first meal.

As I stood their watching this miracle of life I noticed something: The Grand-Parents are unbelievably selfish… They all seem pretty territorial, trying to decide who holds the baby, and forcing poses and multiple pictures… Be careful new parents; I smell treachery afoot with the old regime.

Quit pestering the new parents ! They’ve been through quite a bit today… let them enjoy their day. You only get one “first birth” I understand everyone is excited by the new birth; and their “first birth” might not have been as nice… but that doesn’t give you the right to try to rain on their parade. That’s all I say about that.

The baby's first recorded "Side-Eye" after hearing enough from the grandparents.

The baby's first recorded "Side-Eye" after hearing enough from the grandparents.

So the fairy dog-mother and Mrs blogmaster got to hold the baby… No one thought to pass the baby to me OR to the fairy dog-father… why?

Did it occur to anyone that maybe I wanted to hold the baby?

Is it because I’m a guy ???

Sexist jerks.

The phone conversations and interviews start at 9pm….

I was finally able to get a chance to hold the beautiful baby girl who weighs in at 7lbs 5oz. and is 20.5″.

First picture of the happy family.

First picture of the happy family.

I managed to look into the baby’s eyes and promised her a Steak and Lobster dinner when she turned 5, and everyone laughed; they’ll learn.

Me and the little girl who will have steak and lobster in 5 years

Me and the little girl who will have steak and lobster in 5 years

I would like to take this time to address everyone on facebook who thought that this child was mine. Shame on each and every one of you… you REALLY think I wouldn’t have been blogging about this before tonight? This really showed me how much people really know me. All of my friends who speak to me on a regular basis did not fall for this trick; and I want to thank all of you for taking the time to be my friend. Everyone else, step your game up; behavior like this doesn’t get you invitations to the wedding…

I was able to do a little self-reflecting. It made me realize that even though I helped raised eight siblings, there’s nothing like having your own bundle of joy for that first time in your arms. In a few years, that’s gonna be Mrs. Blogmaster and I looking exhausted and happy and telling our parents to stop trying to take credit for our kid “We didn’t have a baby, I had a baby” truer words never spoken new mom.

Finally, I want to congratulate new mom and new dad for one of their finest achievements to date. I already know that child will be surrounded with love and support (and hopefully a PS3 controller in her hand)

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7 Responses to Late “Day of Birth” Gift

  1. mellownmighty says:

    “Everyone one else, step your game up”

    ^^^^SHOTS FIRED! I REPEAT SHOTS FIRED!

    Just kidding…I’m just glad you were able to blog about the joys of birth. I also wanted to note that grandparents get SUPER territorial about babies, especially first borns in the gender THEY wanted. Kudos to the new mom for establishing boundaries and multitasking by enjoying the delicious cheeseburger AND holding her child. Great to get that practice in now.

    As for needing bloggers on staff for Mini-Blogmaster or Mini-Blogmistress…depends on where you’re living because I’d be happy to take time off to provide my help.

    • dtownsend23 says:

      lol, I’m serious though MnM take a look at my facebook page and see how many people congratulated me; but also notice everyone who did comment aren’t people who are in constant communication with me.

  2. mellownmighty says:

    Oh I knew that was going to happen. I side-stepped that status. I was actually going to congratulate you on finally getting the dog but we haven’t talked about Fuzz lately, so I knew it wasn’t anything having to do with you at that point.

    • dtownsend23 says:

      I’m still waiting on Acoff’s Wife to respond to this one; I know she’ll get a kick out of this

  3. DanceHall Queen says:

    Congratulations to the new parents
    She’s such an adorable little girl ( I love the 2nd picture)…makes you want to go out and have one yourself lol 🙂

  4. Acoff Wife says:

    Sorry so late to comment. Just catching up. You know I knew it wasn’t your baby. And I did think dog but was unclear. And when I saw the first post I was like come on! They just got engaged and told everyone about it do you really think he would just post a picture. lol But I couldn’t really say what I wanted to say cause I don’t know your peoples like and didn’t want to step on any toes.

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